Having a Boring Conversation?

 There are two people at a table. One is just talking the other's ear off about different things in their lives. Meanwhile, the other person is just sitting there just letting them. Then for some reason, the first seems to freak out. Then the other responses angrily back, trying to defend themselves, and it just exploded out until neither one is happy with the other. What do you think happened? Why are they now angry at each other? Why did communication break down?

Well, there are many reasons that it ended the way it did. One could have been the first person asked the other a question and just got an Ok sure answer from them, or they rolled their eyes out of boredom. For whatever reason, the second one communicated something and the first felt angered by it. When the second was confronted, the second person decided to defend themselves, and it escalated from there. We are people that love communication, and we always will, but if we aren't careful with our communication it can lead to more of an argument, it could lead to a feud, or a relationship falling apart.

We are also people who like to get the last word in and, many times, it will bug us when we don't. I have seen that when communication falls apart and then tensions get high. Instead of dealing with the problem, we sometimes resort to throwing an older issue on the fire to just get the last word in or to somehow prove ourselves right even if it doesn't apply to the situation. We need to truly think about what we are going to say, even when we are angry, we need to know when to let things go. If we just hold on to things to use as a weapon to prove a point. Then we rely on things we haven't forgiven or forgotten tensions, and it is still an issue. So we must first be willing to let go of things that have been resolved and this will allow the fire of tension not to have wood lying around for us to throw onto it.

The next thing we need to be able to do is read a situation and know what is going on around us. If the first person realized that the other person was losing interest. There are things they could have tried to gain their interest back or change the subject to something they know the other likes to talk about. Do not just confront them if you notice that they are not listening anymore. Even though it may be easy just to confront them, we all don't like being called out. One of the best ways I have seen this dune was my friend was talking to a friend of his, and he was slowly losing interest in the story. As he was telling the story, he then said in an extremely loud voice, "And the ship was thrown onto the beach and a pirate came from the ship and attacked me". The friend looked startled and looked confused and bewildered about what had just happened. Then my friend smiled and said "Got you. I felt as though the story could use a new twist. What do you think?" He was able to engage the other friend, also pull him back into the conversation without making him fill called out. This may not work for all settings, but just making the other person feel involved in the conversation will remain enjoyable for both parties.

Lastly, a thing we can try on the other side of the conversation is to defuse the situation. If someone has called us out for not listening to them or seeming like we don't care about what they are saying. We need to be willing to let our pride go and admit to doing so or apologize for making it seem like that. It is easy to zone out or even ignore a conversation if we do not want to hear it or feel as if it's not important. When we do, we should be willing to apologize because we all know how it feels to be ignored. We need to be willing to explain why, and maybe we will be able to talk about something else or find a better way to talk about that subject.

If we truly wish to protect the relationship we build, we need to know how to not turn a simple rolling of the eyes into a big deal. When we know how to defuse, read a situation, and put the past behind us. It will be easier for us to keep our conversations from becoming a fight or arguments. The more we learn how to talk peacefully to one another, the less hate there will be in the world.

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